I’ve not been a big fan of self help books. I’ve always thought they can do more harm than good. For me, they made me aware of my inadequacies more so than helping me improve in any kind of way. However, for The Four Agreements I will happily make an exception.
I try not to do this usually but I’m going to talk about myself for a bit before I go any further more about the The Four Agreements.
Around February 2019 I was diagnosed with depression and was having a tough time with it. Through a scheme that I was entitled to where I was working back then, I was referred to a therapist. As I was going through the sessions she would often reference things said in The Four Agreements to the point that I ended up getting the book myself.
Don Miguel Ruiz is a Mexican writer who who has applied what he has learnt from ancient Toltec knowledge. The book itself is about four basic things (agreements) we can do in our lives that I and I’m sure others have found hard to follow.
It advises to:
1) Be impeccable with your word.
2) Don’t take anything personally.
3) Don’t make assumptions.
4) Always do your best.
As simple as they sound I never followed these simple guidelines at least not all the time. I have lied, I’ve assumed a girl wanted to get close to me romantically and took it personally when she didn’t, there are times when I haven’t done my best and just ‘couldn’t be bothered’.
This book reminds you to follow the basic agreements, the hard part for me at least being to keep them in your mind when you don’t have the book near to put them to good use.
I get the feeling that Don Miguel is a bit of charmer because I always feel good after reading it. He tells you (which is true for us all) how good you are. What’s also good is that you are never punished if you break the agreements, he just asks you to try again. It’s good in that it tells you that you can only do so much also. There’s no way we can control other’s thoughts in such a way.
I also highly recommend the Audible edition of this book by Amber Allen publishing. Peter Coyote’s warm American voice suits this book really well and I can see how the voice itself along with the content of The Four Agreements can be helpful in helping yourself.
I have only shown the basics of the book here, Ruiz goes in more detail in it. This can be helpful for some of you who may well have problems like I did it but remember, there is a variety of help out there also.
I’ll end by saying this is an incredibly important book for me and my soul.
Stay good guys.